How I Ended My Toxic Relationship With Credit Cards

Tuesday, February 27th, 2018
Updated: February 27th, 2018
The content is accurate at the time of publication and is subject to change.

Do you know the signs of a toxic relationship? You feel out of control, just not yourself anymore. The air is thick with jealousy and lies, criticism and contempt. You might feel fearful much of the time. You’re passive aggressive in your communication.

That’s the relationship I had with my credit cards. But I’ve learned to break free of my toxic credit card relationships and create new, healthy ones. Here are three signs you’re in a toxic credit card relationship, and how to recover.

You’re telling lies. They might be lies you tell yourself, like “I can afford to pay off this card, just as soon as I get paid. It’s fine to buy these new shoes and charge them to my card.” Or they might be lies you tell your credit card customer service representative, like “I didn’t realize I had maxed out my card and was going to be charged and over limit fee.” Whatever the lie is, it’s a sign that your relationship with credit isn’t good. Honesty is the key to any relationship. Once I started coming clean with myself, my financial reality improved leaps and bounds. I began by sitting down and making a budget—tracking exactly how much income I’ve got, and how much I’m spending. I wrote down what my credit limit is on each card, and how much I owe. Then I got real about what those numbers meant. Now I’m honest with myself about what I can and can’t afford, how much I’ve charged to my credit card, and how long it’s going to take me to pay it off. And it feels great! Honesty really is the best policy.

You feel critical of other people’s financial behavior—and of your own. Criticism can really wear a person down. Often, when we feel critical of others’ behavior, it’s really just a sign that we feel bad about ourselves. Sometimes I’d see a friend charging a shopping trip to her credit card, or paying for an expensive dinner for all her friends with her card, and feel critical of her financial decision-making. But really, it was all about me. I knew that my credit card and financial behavior was not stellar, so I was turning that criticism outward. Anytime you feel like criticizing someone, that’s a red flag to look at your own behavior. And if you feel critical of yourself, stop beating yourself up and change your ways! That’s what I did. I actually became very aware of what I was thinking at all times—especially when anyone pulled out a credit card, or talked about money. When I had a nasty, critical thought, I stopped myself and wondered where it came from. Analyzing my thoughts led to some real revelations about my own credit card behavior.

You feel out of control. This is the hallmark of a toxic relationship. You no longer feel in control of your own life. You may not even recognize yourself anymore, because you’re making decisions based on fear and panic. Feeling financially out of control is one of the worst feelings there is. If you feel like this, contact a nonprofit credit counseling agency to get back on track. It’s one of the best things I ever did. Now I’m out of debt and happily using rewards credit cards to get the most from my money. You can too!

All rates and fees, and other terms and conditions of the products mentioned in this article/post are actual as of the last update date but are subject to change. See the current products' Terms & Conditions on the issuing banks' websites.

Latest Other Card Guides

Maxing Out Your Credit Card: What to Expect When You Go Over Your Credit Limit? January 26th, 2024

When it comes to obtaining а new line of credit, whether it’s a credit card, personal loan, mortgage, or any other way to borrow money, one of the most crucial aspects is the credit limit. Credit limit is the maximum amount you can charge on a particular credit card or other type of credit account. […]

Continue »
How to keep your money safe? Common types of bank accounts November 16th, 2023

Bank accounts offer a convenient and secure place to store cash and build savings. Savings and checking accounts are the most well-known types of bank accounts, but there are actually other options that financial institutions commonly offer. There are different types of bank accounts that can fit specific needs. Apart from Checking and Savings Accounts, […]

Continue »
The best alternative to payday loans: a Paycheck Advance Apps overview September 26th, 2023

If you need to make ends meet before your next paycheck, fast cash options like payday loans or installment loans are not your only options. Paycheck advance apps have been booming in the financial services industry in recent years, and the idea of an app that allows you to borrow money with low or no […]

Continue »
How to cope with the over-budget holiday debts? December 28th, 2022

The holiday season is a time when many Americans spend big on dearest friends, relatives, and themselves. During the festive fuss and buzz, it’s easy to fall into the urge to spend and buy more than you can afford. However, if you don’t want overspending to set you back financially in the new year, here’s […]

Continue »
What Are Electronic Payment Methods and How Do They Work? October 10th, 2022

If you frequently make online payments but remain concerned about your sensitive bank account details, virtual credit card or digital wallet services can give you the added layer of protection you need. A virtual credit card (VCC) is an online only version of your debit or credit card. It’s not a physical card, but a […]

Continue »
Best Credit Offer
Destiny Mastercard®
Check off the cards you want to compare. Then click the Compare link to go to the comparison table.
Consumer Rating: 4 / 5
Horizon Card Services Group One Freedom Card
Copyright © 2001-2024 BestCreditOffers.com All Rights Reserved.

*See the credit card's terms and conditions on the online application page. Note that this website may be compensated by credit card issuers when the visitor applies for a card through the links on this website. We do our best to maintain all information accurate and up to date. However, we do not warrant the credit card information won't change. Click the "Apply Online" button and review the current info on the secure credit card terms page.

Information in these articles is brought to you by BestCreditOffers.com. Banks, issuers, and credit card companies mentioned in the articles do not endorse or guarantee, and are not responsible for, the contents of the articles.

The BestCreditOffers.com webpage is a free service and an information resource for credit cards and financial products and services available to eligible United States consumers. BestCreditOffers.com does not offer any warranties and is not a direct service. There are no guarantees for approval or offers when applying for a credit card. Please refer to the application if you would like more information on each credit card. When you click "Apply" for a particular credit card, please take the time to review the terms and conditions of the product/service at the issuer's website. All logos on the BestCreditOffers.com website are property of their respective owners.

Disclaimer: This editorial content is not provided or commissioned by the credit card issuer. Opinions expressed here are the author's alone, not those of the credit card issuer, and have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by the credit card issuer. Reasonable efforts are made to present accurate info, however all info is presented without warranty. Consult a card's issuing bank for terms & conditions.

BestCreditOffers.com makes every effort to keep information up to date and accurate. However, the information regularly changes and is presented without warranty. Therefore, we strongly recommend all our readers to visit the credit card application page by clicking "Apply Online!" button to review the detailed credit card's terms and conditions. Note that BestCreditOffers.com may be compensated by the credit card issuers when the readers apply for a credit card through this site.

BestCreditOffers.com is an independent, advertising-supported website which receives compensation from the credit card issuers and companies whose offers appear on the site. Compensation may impact how and where products appear on our site, including, for example, the order in which they may appear on the site pages. BestCreditOffers.com does not review or list all available financial or credit offers.

You've successfully subscribed!

Please specify the following:All these fields are optional

Thank you for providing this information! We will make sure our letters are useful for You.

User Generated Content Disclaimer: These responses are not provided or commissioned by the bank advertiser. Responses have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by the bank advertiser. It is not the bank advertiser's responsibility to ensure all posts and/or questions are answered.